MY SEARCH FOR TRUTH CONTENTS PART II 12 IMAGINATION 13 ON TRYING TO ENTER THE SILENCE 14 THE LAW OF PLENTY 15 CEASELESS, INTERIOR PRAYER 16 HOW I FOUND GOD'S INWARD PEACE 17 ON PRAYER, MEDITATION AND CONTEMPLATION 18 CAUGHT UP IN THE SPIRIT 19 I FIND THAT GOD IS AT WORK IN MY LIFE 20 LOVE THE KEY 21 INTERIOR RESPIRATION 22 PRACTICING THE PRESENCE 23 STANDING FOR EVER IN THE DIVINE LIGHT AND RADIANCE AND GLORY 24 EPILOGUE 12 IMAGINATION Perhaps my readers may wonder what I used to teach in the early days, and why it was helpful to some. Here then is one aspect of my work which it may not be out of place to mention. I discovered that, to a large extent, man creates the conditions of his life through his imagination. In one of my early books, I wrote: you are the architect of your own life. It is yours to make or to mar. By the power of thought you are building. Are you building aright? This statement was true as far as it went, for we as well as our environment are the products of our thoughts; but thoughts are powerful because of what they do - not because of what they are in themselves. It is because they awaken and direct the imagination that they are so powerful in their effect upon our life and circumstances. That great mystic Jacob Boehme whose teaching is so difficult that few can understand anything of it, confirms this. Although his writings are so deep and even obscure, he makes one thing very clear, which is that it is our wayward imagination which is the cause of our present hellish conditions, and that things can be put right only to the extent that our imagination is brought into correspondence with the All-Wise Imagination. Let the wicked forsake his way, and the unrighteous man his thoughts: and let him return unto the LORD, and he will have mercy upon him; and to our God, for he will abundantly pardon. For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the LORD. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts. --Isaiah 55:7-9. What all this means is that our imagination has fallen away from the All-Wise Imagination and has created disorderly and even hellish conditions, for Mind is creative; Thought rules all. Thought rules all because it affects our creative imagination; consequently as we think so we are and so do we become, and so does our environment become. The invitation is that we should return to the One Creative Source of all perfection, thus forsaking our wrong thoughts and imagination, and so think God's thoughts instead, consequently bringing our wayward imagination into unison with the All-Wise Imagination, which can create only perfection. Prayer is an attempt to bring our mind and imagination into correspondence with Infinite Mind and the All-Wise Imagination. We do not pray in order to alter God or change His purpose. The sole object of prayer is to bring ourselves back to the likeness and image of Elohim in which we were created. 'What is man, that thou art mindful of him? ...For thou hast made him a little lower than Elohim'. Elohim, according to Genesis I, was the creator or creators of the world. Scholars tell us that Elohim is a plural word, consequently we read: 'And Elohim said, let us make man in our image, after our likeness'. Such being the case, it is difficult to understand why the old hymn-writers described themselves as worms. It would have been better I think if they had described themselves as caterpillars, for they, after passing through the chrysalid stage, turn into butterflies -whereas worms always remain worms. But what a lovely hymn the old writers could have written about the caterpillar! First, a poor creeping thing; next, a chrysalid (corresponding to the hymnist's long sleep in the grave); then after that the resurrection - that, I feel would have been a much better theme. But the Bible does not teach that we are worms in spite of what Bildad the Shuhite, and also David, may have said. It tells us that we are created in the image and likeness of our Creator. In the teaching of Jesus we see that we have departed from the All-Wise Imagination and have created hell for ourselves through the misuse of our imagination, and that the only remedy is to get back to that which is for ever true, viz. God's idea concerning each one of us. This outer man is not the real Man; also this outer world is not the true World: both are falsities. What we need to do then is to get back to God's idea concerning both the true Man and the true World. Prayer is an attempt to bring our wayward thought and imagination into correspondence with God's thought and imagination. We pray in order that we may see things as they really are; not as they falsely appear; in other words, what we seek is to know the Truth, after which the Truth will make us free, even as was promised by Jesus. Paradoxically, however, we have to seek Truth for its own sake, and not in order to win the reward of freedom. If we persevere with our attempts by means of prayer to think God's thoughts after Him, a time comes when we experience a sense of great peace; we feel completely at home in God and in a state of great harmony. This is due to the fact that our mind has begun to function in correspondence with the mind of God. When we see the thing which may be troubling us, as it is in the mind of God, then our mind is thinking in the same way that God's mind thinks. If ye abide in my word. ..ye shall know the Truth, and the Truth shall make you free. -Jesus Jesus taught the gospel of the Kingdom-He told those about Him that the Kingdom of Heaven was nigh; He spoke of the Kingdom and of heavenly things. He said that if His hearers would abide in His teachings (that is, to think of God and His perfect order), they would be made free. The moment we really know, when we actually realize the Truth, we become free. I wish I could describe this experience, but it is not possible to do so. Truth is always present with us, although we may not be able to realize it. That we cannot realize it does not alter the fact that it is always with us, awaiting the time when our mind and imagination cease their errancy and become attuned to the mind and imagination of God. It may be asked how I could have taught this, seeing that, generally speaking, practically no one can realize the Truth, whilst those who could do so would not be taking any instruction from me? How could I exhort my students to realize Truth, seeing that they had no idea what Truth is? I used to tell them that until they could realize Truth themselves, they should accept the testimony of those who have realized it. I told them that man, in very truth, is a Celestial being, belonging to Celestial Realms. My great desire was, and still is, that they might realize their true identity and might know that in their true inwardness they are sons of God, true children of Eternity, and one with That which changeth not. The beloved John expressed the same truth when he said: 'Beloved now are we the sons of God; and it doth not yet appear (it is not yet apparent) what we shall be, but we know that when He shall appear, we shall be like Him' - that is, identical with Him. I told them that in their true inwardness no real harm could ever come to them, for the real Self in them was a spark from the Sacred Flame, deathless, diseaseless and eternal. Worlds might be born, and worlds might flourish and pass away, and even the whole universe be rolled up like a scroll, but they in their true inwardness would always remain beyond time and unaffected by change, because they were one with, identical to, the Eternal. I used to suggest that they should say: Man is a spiritual being living in a spiritual universe, governed by spiritual laws, and upheld by spiritual powers. And by spiritual I really meant celestial, which is the highest realm of all to which man in his true inwardness, as a son of God, eternally belongs. By 'Man', I meant of course not the outward man, who is 'of the earth, earthy' and full of frailties - but the real inward Man, the image and likeness of Elohim, who in most people is so effectively covered up that it is difficult to believe that He is present at all. By realizing the Truth about Man, we learn to realize the Truth about ourselves. We discover that we are not this body, nor this mind, nor this soul, nor even this spirit, for we can speak to them all and command them. No, we are something far greater than any or all of these. What we truly are can no more be defined than God can be defined. When we reach this point we are not far from what Jesus called the Kingdom. Of course the beginner wants to ask how he can know God, without knowing something about Him. If God is undefinable, he asks, how can he ever know Him, how can man ever know the Undefinable? This is a deep question, and I do not think that I ever dealt with it adequately in those early days. It is true that it is impossible to define God who is the Undefinable, for the God whom we define, or try to express in words, is not the Transcendent One. We limit God directly we try to define Him, for by so doing we bring Him within the limitations of the human mind. Our God whom we define is really only man's idea of God. Another deep thought is that our highest ideas about God are really only a sort of preview of what we shall ultimately attain to. But of course we can know the Unknowable, but not by the human and finite mind. God, who transcends man's intellect, can only be known by that Divine Something in man which also transcends his intellect, and also cannot be defined. In other words, only God can know God. However, this was too deep a matter to broach to beginners, so I did not mention it; in fact I did just the reverse, for I taught them to meditate upon what are called the attributes of God: wholeness, perfection, justice, and so on. They did not know that they were meditating upon the attributes of their real interior Self, and that as they meditated their false ego or self (the enemy of their souls) was being liquidated. He, the true or Christ-in-you Self, must increase; but I, the false self, must decrease. It was also suggested that students should make use of their imagination by trying to see good everywhere, and also beauty. Instead of seeing other people as they appear to be, they were to try to see the Real Man who is hidden within. To do so is not a new idea by any means, for it was Calvin who said that we should not look at the imperfect outward man, but rather that we should try to see the Divine image hidden within the man. (I did not know anything about Calvin then, except the unfortunate doctrine named after him, and it was many years before I came across this statement from him.) It was good to have what I was teaching confirmed by so great a theologian; the fact that I possessed no learning and consequently had to rely upon intuition made it the more interesting to find that what I bad been teaching was the same as one of the great and learned men of the past had taught. Trying to see into people and into things in order to find their hidden perfection trains the imagination along Heavenly lines, for by so doing we are trying to see things as they really are in the Real World of perfect everything and perfect order and absolute rightness. I suggested to our students that they should spend a certain amount of time every day in using and training their creative imagination in a special way. I suggested that they should close their eyes and think of a perfect heavenly state, in which were order, wholeness and completeness. Instead of disease, sickness, pain, suffering, they should imagine a state of health, wholeness, and fullness of life; instead of poverty and anxiety , they should form a mental concept (but not visualize), a condition of instant and ever-present abundance, every need being supplied fully and completely just as it arises. And so with all the many negative concepts of the mind: discord, failure, sickness - their opposites should be imagined. The Intellect can do little in this field. But the imagination combined with feeling is capable of bringing about changes in our body and affairs such as are beyond the wit and wisdom of man to explain. I must confess that in the very early days of my work I suggested that people should visualize what they wanted. This of course was all wrong, and as soon as possible I gave it up. It is wrong to do so, because it is using the human mind to attempt to force Life to produce conditions according to our pattern; whereas of course our greatest good can come to us only through our life being lived according to the Divine pattern. Therefore when we use our creative imagination we should not try to enforce our pattern on life, but should be willing to accept whatever form God's answer may take. Thus if we are poor, we should not envisage ourselves as being rich in worldly goods, but should try to realize that we have entered into the glorious liberty of the children of God, and set free from every limitation. It is not sufficient for us to use affirmations, but in addition we must enter into a realization of the truth that we have affirmed. Many of us I am afraid are inclined to become slack when times are prosperous and easy with us; then when difficulties arise and troubles sweep down on us, we are not able to realize the Truth which makes us free. This is a great error but alas, we are prone to fall into it. What we should do is to make the most of our opportunity when the sky of our life is clear. When beset by troubles it is not easy to realize Truth: we have to work through the darkness before we can do so. But when our sky is clear, and the barometer of our life is at 'set fair', then is the time to realize Truth for to do so is easy, and each time that we do so we make it easier for us to meet our next difficulty or test. There are times when we feel unusually peaceful and at one with the whole universe: a lovely view, or even smoke belching out from a factory chimney-stack, may appear unusually beautiful. At such times Heaven is very near to us, and we should make the most of it. Then it is easy to realize our oneness with the Whole; we feel perfectly at home in God, in our right place, in right relationship with everything and everyone else, all included in one complete and perfect whole. 13 ON TRYING TO ENTER THE SILENCE For many years I tried to enter the Silence - but in vain. I often read about it, but could not find it - for one thing, no two writers seemed to agree as to what the Silence was. Some seemed to think that it was a kind of trance; others taught that it was simply inhibiting all thought, thus making the mind a blank; yet others again said that it was a state of negative passivity, or a sinking down into a state of dreamy self-hypnotism. None of these methods would bear examination. First of all, falling into trances is at any rate, undesirable for us Westerners. I cannot see how it can fit us for the battle of life. Trances, visions and the like are psychic and although they are mentioned in the Bible, and were indulged in by some of the saints, I am quite sure that - speaking personally - I am better without them. The wisest of the Christian mystics confirm this view by stating that in most cases these phenomena are hindrances rather than helps. Most of us will remember that Christian and his companion in Pilgrim's Progress when travelling the Heavenly road were attracted by what appeared to be a much pleasanter path - that of Bypath Meadow. Instead of pursuing their hard and toilsome journey along the King's Highway, how much pleasanter and easier it would appear to be to get over the stile and walk in the cool and delightful Bypath Meadow! So off the two of them went along this new and interesting way; but alas, because it led them away from the true path, they soon met with trouble and finally into doubt and despair. In the same way the wise saints and mystics warn us against being attracted by visions and trance experiences. They are not necessarily a sign of divine favour, but may be a hindrance in that they may distract our attention away from God. This is the object of the Adversary - to get our attention away from our Divine Centre and to direct it to something which flatters but keeps us away from God, instead of bringing us nearer. If therefore we find that we have a gift for visions, trances and so on, we should not fall into the error of thinking that we are especially favoured by God; but rather we should look upon them as something to be transcended as soon as possible, even if we cannot avoid them altogether. There are exceptions of course and we must not criticize, still less condemn, those who have derived comfort from a psychic experience, but rather give thanks to God that they have been blessed in the way they have. My father for all his orthodoxy declared that when he was converted he saw the Lord Jesus as plainly as ever he had seen anybody in his life. He said that it was not a spirit that he saw, but that Jesus was as real and solid as any man could be and that He turned and looked at him - a look which captured my father's heart for all time. Then again after our mother died, Father saw her in a similar way. Experiences of this kind are helpful to those who need such consolation, and who are so constituted that they can be helped and comforted by them. Then again inhibiting an thought, which means making the mind a blank, is a dangerous practice for it invites possession. Instead of emptying the mind, we should fill it with thoughts of God. Then no evil can come into it; whereas, if we try to keep it empty, the most evil thoughts may enter and become a fixed obsession. The other idea of making oneself passively negative is equally dangerous and to do so would be to invite mediumship. We should at all times keep our mind positive, and directed towards God. Being positive makes for integration: being negative produces disintegration. When we sink down into a state of negative passivity, we vibrate in correspondence with hades; but when we rise up into a positive state of realization, we vibrate in correspondence with celestial realms. We need to go up and up until the vibrations are so rapid that we reach a state of stillness. When we turn a wheel slowly we can see all the spokes moving, but when we turn it rapidly the spokes disappear from our sight. So is it with the Silence: we get beyond all conflict and all thought, until we reach That which is beyond thought, in the great Stillness. It is a state of rest, in the same way that the heavenly bodies pursue a course of great activity and are themselves masses of activity, yet they are in a state of poise, balance, and ease, resting easily, each in its appointed place, without effort or strain. I tried many and various ideas and suggested methods, mostly without success. My search was a difficult, even dangerous, one for I was quite alone and had no one to advise me. Also, the right kind of books never seemed to come my way - I know now that there was a reason for this: it was necessary for me to travel the hard and solitary way, in order that I should know what I know through experience and thus be able to speak with conviction. Yet no matter how much I tried, I could not find the Silence - until all at once I realized that it was my trying so hard that was hindering me, and that if I would cease my efforts, then I should find that already I was in the Silence. It was then realized that the Silence is always with us, and only needs recognition; it is not something that has to be created. What we have to do is to stop our fruitless strivings, and instead rest in the Love of God, which supports us in much the same way that the earth appears to be supported in its atmosphere. Whilst I am strongly against regulating respiration and retaining the breath, yet I believe that possessing the ability to breathe deeply and fully has been a help to me. When I was young, I breathed through my mouth shallowly and I can recall my mother telling me on every possible occasion to close my mouth and to breathe through my nose. Through this bad habit my nostrils had become narrow and almost closed, so that I could not breathe through the nose properly. This went on for years, until I became interested in physical culture. Then I started in earnest to try to breathe deeply through my nose. The first thing that I had to do was to enlarge my nostrils, so I practiced distending them. I had to do this mentally, of course, in much the same way that it is possible to send blood to any part of the body by the power and use of thought. This I did to such good effect that I developed muscles like those of a professional singer, and also my breath control was almost as perfect as theirs. I could never see quite what use this was going to be to me, but now I believe that this development has been a help to me as regards entering the Silence. Of course nowadays I do not do any deep breathing consciously, but when I think of God and divine things then deep breathing in tune with the Inner Life of the Spirit comes to me of its own volition. I also think that this development, this capacity for very deep physical breathing, may have had something to do with the interior respiration which has come to me of recent years. But of this, more anon. Nervous tautness had always been one of my difficulties. I did not know how to relax and when I was interested in anything I held my breath, hardly breathing at all - consequently I found it difficult to do deep waistline breathing and yet remain relaxed at the same time. But practice makes perfect and in course of time I found that my breathing, when I allowed it to be free, took on a rhythm and a quality all its own, and that I did not control it, but that it was working in harmony with the rhythm of the Hidden Life. However, that did not happen all at once, indeed it came only after many years ... As I have said, the first sign I had of any success in trying to enter the Silence was when I woke up to the fact that I was already in the Silence, and that I only hindered my progress by my constant trying. I was like a person learning to swim who, after many struggles to keep afloat, suddenly discovers that the water will support him if he will but lean on it and cease his frantic and jerky efforts. As soon as he trusts the water and rests on it, his hitherto taut body relaxes and becomes supple. I found that it was much the same with my attempts to enter the Silence. I had hitherto strained and struggled in a state of tautness - which was the very thing which kept me from entering; yet, paradoxically enough, I should never have found the Silence if I had not made such efforts. Another hindrance was that at first I left out devotion, and also did not realize the value and necessity of humbleness. I found that I got on better when I followed the path the saints have trod. They knelt in adoration, and no doubt turned their eyes upwards. I did not always kneel in a literal sense, but mentally and metaphorically I cast myself at the feet of the LORD, but turned my physical eyes upwards (with lids closed) as though looking up to His face. Jacob Boehme says 'Steadfastly fix thine inner eye upon one point and by Faith press into this inmost cell within thee'. I am sure this is good practice; indeed I follow this method very often to start with, then after a time I look upward and am all the better prepared to do so, because of the preliminary looking within to the region of the heart. In the Hindu philosophy we are told that there are three paths of attainment: Karma marga, or the path of good works; Bhakti marga, or the path of devotion and Jnana marga, or the path of knowledge. The second path seems, predominantly, to be the one which I am following, although we have to follow all three paths simultaneously. Yet it is generally admitted, so I believe, that Bhakti marga is not only the easiest but the simplest and most direct path of all. All that we have to do is to love and adore. Because God is Love, it is only natural that it should be so. Love is the key to every situation in life! Although He did not so classify them, Jesus taught the three paths of attainment: first, the path of good works (as given in the Sermon on the Mount, and elsewhere); second, the path of love and devotion ('If ye love me, keep my commandments.' 'This is my commandment, that ye love one another, as I have loved you'); third, the path of understanding. ('If ye continue in my words ...ye shall know the Truth, and the Truth shall make you free.') In the teaching of Jesus we have all that we need; but it is interesting and helpful to make a slight study of comparative religions - not in order to try to prove that any one religion is superior to all others - but rather to see how wonderfully all religions in their deepest implications agree and how they all meet finally at the same one goal of Divine union. Let me however return to my subject. It is useless trying to enter the Silence if we have any unconfessed sin on our conscience; neither can we even begin to approach the entrance to the Silence if we bear any resentment towards anyone whatsoever, or have done him a wrong. 'Therefore if thou bring thy gift to the altar, and there rememberest that thy brother hath aught against thee, leave there thy gift before the altar, and go thy way; first be reconciled to thy brother, and then come and offer thy gift.' It is useless to try to enter the Great Stillness which is the Presence of God realized, if we are possessed by the angry devils of resentment. We must first get rid of these disturbing influences if we would enter into the Central Harmony. Also, if we have wronged our brother we must put the matter right, because we must not try to enter the Holy Presence with the guilt of our action resting upon us. And if wrong has been done to us, we must forgive freely and become filled with thoughts and feelings of good-will. What is termed 'entering the Silence' is really becoming attuned to the Divine Presence, which means that our vibrations have to be raised to a higher pitch until they vibrate in harmony with the Divine pitch or note. In the Hindu philosophy we are told that the Divine note sounding through the Universe is Aum, or Om. If this is intoned with the lips closed, the whole of the head vibrates accordingly. I do not use it myself, but I can quite understand that our brothers in India find it helpful in meditation, or in preparing for meditation. One of the results achieved by religious exercises and practices is to change the vibrations of the whole body so that a process of transmutation takes place: every cell is affected, so that the body becomes less dead-looking and more translucent, to the extent that it becomes filled with the Divine Light. When first I heard one from the East intoning Aum, I was at once struck by its similarity to our Western intoning -particularly the word' Amen'. I found upon trying it that it came quite natural to me to intone both Aum and our liturgical prayers; it was the same note and produced the same vibration. I have never pursued the matter, but I think now that I ought to have done so for I think that it would help and perhaps expedite the process of transmutation. St. Paul (quoting Ferrar Fenton's translation) says: But our policy consists in possessing an object in heaven: from where also we expect a Saviour, the Lord Jesus Christ, who will transform the body of our humility, making it like the body of his majesty, by the internal working of his power; and he will subject all to himself. -Philippians 3:20-1. From this we see that St. Paul taught that through contemplation - the same Power of the Eternal Logos which raised up Jesus from the dead and transmuted his earthly body into an immortal body of eternal light substance, the vibrations of which could be changed at will - would also transmute our material body and make it the same as the body in which the Lord Jesus ascended. Some teachers demand that on sitting down to enter the Silence we should adopt a right posture, hold our hands in a special manner and breathe in a certain way. But in my experience this has not been found to be the case; instead I discovered that, as usual, Love is the key. If we approach God with love in our heart towards Him, and with love in our heart to all mankind then, as Jesus said, we are not far from the Kingdom. Love is indeed the key. We may possess all the technique that was ever conceived by the mind of man, but if we have not Love, all our efforts to enter the Silence will be in vain. The Silence is the Presence of God realized; therefore if we would enter it we must be attuned to the Presence of God who is Love. Love is ever the key. We might intone to further orders, but if our heart were not right, it would be all in vain. 14 THE LAW OF PLENTY I firmly believe that there is a law of plenty. As we gaze at the prodigality of Nature we cannot fail to be impressed by this fact. Nature is indeed most bountiful. Wherever we go we see how great that fullness is - except of course where man has exploited the earth and turned it into a waste and a desert. But that is not the earth's fault, or Nature's, but it is the result of man's selfish exploitation. 'Deserts are on the march.' Why? Simply because of selfish, ignorant, and wicked exploitation on the part of man. The very forces which are causing the deserts to invade the cultivatable land are the same forces which, if they had not been thrown out of balance, would have maintained the earth in fullness and abundance. The law of life is balance. If we put back into the soil as much as we take out Nature will nourish us abundantly; but if we try to cheat her, by taking out more than we put in, then we upset the balance of life. As a result, the forces and powers of Nature become inverted and work against us instead of for us, as they were designed to do. From this we see that the laws of life are designed to give us unlimited plenty, far beyond our needs, and that if they were obeyed, there would be more than enough for all. Where wise and just methods obtain, there is no lack, for the earth then becomes a transformer of solar energy so that the solar energy is changed by the earth into growth. This we take and use and then if, afterwards, we put the whole of the residue back into the soil, the cycle is completed. The earth is neither robbed nor exploited, but continues to be as fruitful as ever. We thus see that the Divine idea is one of plenty through the amazing prodigality of Nature. 'The earth is the LORD'S and the fullness thereof.' When I was young I was enterprising, but always ground down by poverty and lack. By great struggle I managed to start my own business, but my customers all appeared to be poverty-minded. Their main idea seemed to be to beat me down as low as possible, so that they could benefit at my expense. I did not know then that I attracted this 'thrifty' type of client because of my own poverty-complex. I had been born into a remarkably thrifty home where we never knew the comparative plenty such as was enjoyed in 'artizans' homes and whose standard of life was almost extravagant compared with ours. This ultra-frugality and system of the most rigid economy in which I was brought up made such an impression upon my young mind, that I do not think I have ever completely recovered from it. Its good effect has been that I have never wasted anything; its bad effect has been that I have had great difficulty in spending money for myself on even the necessary things of life. As I say, I attracted the acquisitive-thrifty type of client, whilst I on my part was prepared to give the best service possible - and I did give it without stint. But still there was always a miserable response. Of course, the cause of my difficulty was that I possessed a penny mind; I was concerned with the cutting down of expenses, with saving a penny here, and twopence there, and so on. I did not know at the time that such thinking was conditioning my circumstances. However, although I had a penny mind, I was, strangely enough, daring and enterprising. Consequently I looked out for suitable premises in the best and most expensive part of the town. It was while inspecting certain business premises which later I was able to rent on a favourable lease, that I had a curious experience. I, the poor struggling young man with a poverty complex, suddenly had a strange feeling that the air all round me was filled with golden sovereigns! The air seemed to be crammed with them, just like snowflakes in a snowstorm. I suddenly realized that there was unlimited substance or wealth which could be mined by anyone who had sufficient energy, faith and enterprise. I realized also that life was not the poverty-stricken thing that I had imagined it to be. This was far from being a full understanding of the truth about the law of plenty, but it was an important step in the right direction. After that experience I found that most people were not as cheese-paring and 'close-fisted' as I had thought them to be and I also had more clients than ever before. My previous attitude of mind had not only invested my clients with my own meanness and ultra-frugality, but also had kept many more generous people away. But it was many years before I began to realize that there is an inner realm of sufficiency which desires to supply all our needs. Jesus said that we were not to be anxious about our food and drink, our clothing and other necessaries of life, but that we should seek first the Kingdom of God and His righteousness. Then, if we did so, all the necessary things of life would be added, without anxiety. Such an injunction seems to be pure foolishness to most people - but then, so do all the other injunctions given to us by Jesus in the Sermon on the Mount. The wisdom of God appears to be foolishness to the carnal or material mind. The sayings of Jesus, alas, receive scant attention today, but we ignore His teachings at our peril. Experience has taught me that there is an inward source of supply, and that this is the Presence of God. In the ordinary way we ignore this inward source, therefore it cannot operate in our life and affairs; consequently we have to live in the same way as people of the world - fighting, struggling, grasping - or else be like dumb, driven cattle. Then when we reach a certain age, we are discarded. 'The trouble with most people', once said an American humorist, 'is that they have no invisible means of support'. When outward means fail, such people are helpless, for they do not know how to tap their inner resources. In the day of adversity their fortunes crumble away because they have no roots in God, the inexhaustible Substance, in which everything has its origin and source. The worst of it is that the more fiercely adversity hits us, and the more we are pushed about by life, the more difficult it becomes to find time for meditation and private, personal prayer. Those who have been through such an experience will know what I mean. At such times one seems to be caught up in a huge net, and the more one struggles, the more enmeshed one becomes. Also one seems to be in a vicious circle, so that all that one does only makes things worse. Everything is wrongly timed and comes to pass at the exact moment when we are caught on the wrong foot. The only remedy, so I have found when passing through a difficult time, is to find God's inward peace and enter into a state of inner harmony, oneness and unity, at the same time being as patient as we can in our trying circumstances, doing our work as well as we know how, looking to God to bring about a Divine adjustment in His own way and at His own time. That, in a nutshell, is the method which I have been led to employ, and which God has graciously blessed on many occasions. I have known some people, however, who tried to restore their shattered fortunes by 'get-rich-quick' methods, which promised a rapid and large return for little work and small capital outlay. Because such schemes were not based on service but were launched to benefit themselves and not the public, such activities failed. I cannot remember a single one which turned out a success. The only remedy is through work, patience and acceptance in the outer life, and a unity and oneness with our Divine Source in the inner life. Work on the outer plane by itself is not enough; it leads to exhaustion, and perhaps a breakdown. Work, too, on the inner plane alone is not sufficient. Both are necessary, so also is patience. When the inner rhythm of our life is broken, or has been upset, it takes time for it to be restored. Consequently we have to be patient. 'In quietness and in confidence shall be your strength.' 'Rest in the LORD, and wait patiently for Him.' 'Commit thy way unto the LORD; trust also in Him; and He shall bring (it) to pass.' In every life there come times of drought and adversity. There is a process of going forward and returning; there is an ebb and a flow of the tide of life. We have to be patient while the tide is running out, and must be content to wait until the tide turns in our favour. Then when we move forward we are carried along on the crest of the wave to victory and achievement. I have on occasion made losses, and have wasted a lot of work and energy, strength and health in a vain effort to force things, when times have been unpropitious. Being of an impetuous nature, I have rushed on when I ought to have waited. Not being content to await God's time, I have tried to make everything conform to my time. The results have always been disastrous. We have to keep to God's time and keep in step with God, if we are to express in our outward life even a shadow or outline of the inner perfection which is God's idea or pattern of what our life should be. What puzzles beginners and those who are not accustomed to philosophic thought, is that everything is and yet is not, at one and the same time. For instance, the mystic and the metaphysician may say, 'There is no evil', yet at the same time they readily admit that evil is all around them. The explanation is that they are affirming what is true of the inner reality and the mind of God. There is no evil in the mind of God, nor in His archetypal ideas. These are permanent and eternal, and form part of Reality. They are absolute perfection. But these perfect ideas, when expressed in the outer life, lose their perfection. That which is a perfect whole in essence, becomes thrown out of balance, so that what is good when it forms part of a perfect whole, with everything in its right place, at the right time, becomes disorderly and what we call evil. Consequently the mystic, having contemplated the Reality in all its beauty, wholeness and completeness, and also the metaphysician, who has argued and reasoned himself into a realization of absolute truth, can both declare that there is no evil, and yet be surrounded by very obvious evil. There are two sides to everything. It has been said that there are two sides to the shield of Truth: the outer is what man in his ignorance sees; the inner is what God sees. God Who is perfection absolute can create and see only perfection. We see this truth even in our human relationships. 'To the pure all things are pure.' God, who is infinite and absolute Goodness, Perfection, Life, Health, Wholeness, Completeness, can see only these and other virtues in His creations, for He can see only Himself reflected in what He creates. Therefore, on the inside, there is only perfection. It is only on the outside where an inversion has taken place, that imperfection is to be seen. Because God, as the Absolute, can see no evil but only the perfection which is His own reflection, some anxious souls think that they and also their troubles and sufferings are unknown to God, and so have been discouraged. But God has other aspects. Where God in His absoluteness cannot enter, God as LOVE can come even into our most secret griefs, losses and sorrows. LOVE manifests as Jesus, 'a man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief'. There is no trouble or failure of ours into which LOVE cannot come. God, in His absolute aspect, cannot see poverty. It does not exist in His mind. 'For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the LORD. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts.' But the invitation is for man the unrighteous to forsake his thoughts and his unGodlike ways, and to return to the LORD. The law of being is plenty, not poverty. God, who is infinite and inexhaustible substance, creates in profusion, regardless of cost, so to speak. There is a spiritual basis from which plenty flows. In the inner World of Perfection thought becomes clothed with substance, instantly; in the outer life on this material plane it takes longer, but the process is much the same. Matter is simply electricity, and thought also is electric force. This may explain why a man with a poverty type of mind, finds himself in poverty-stricken surroundings, or at any rate, never attains to a state of freedom; while another one whose mind is quite different, may start with nothing and yet in a comparatively short time becomes surrounded with everything that he needs. Ordinary thinking will not achieve such a metamorphosis. 'For my thoughts are not your thoughts ...saith the LORD.' Human thought of lack and limitation must give place to Truth, or God thought, of infinite and inexhaustible abundance. It makes a tremendous difference to our lives if we can make such a change, even though it be only partial in extent. The great secret is in recognizing that all good things come from God, and not from man, or as a result of our own effort and toil and strain. 'The earth is the LORD'S and the fullness thereof.' We who are the sons of God may draw freely from the invisible and inexhaustible resources of God. We possess invisible means of support. We do not need great possessions, for all our needs are supplied, 'out of His riches in glory'. Because God's resources are infinite, our resources also are infinite. We must not judge by appearances. If Jesus had judged by appearances when the people were hungry, they would never have been fed. Jesus refused to be restricted by the apparent limitations of five barley loaves and two small fishes, but drew upon the inexhaustible resources of Infinite Substance. In the same way, if we allow ourselves to be overawed by appearances of lack, forgetting that we are sons of God and 'joint heirs with Christ' of all the resources of God, then we make it very difficult for ourselves to manifest the same abundance which Jesus did. I admit that it is far from easy to trust in God's invisible resources when we are confronted by arrears of rent, large bills to be paid, an overdrawn account at the bank, and a mortgaged life-policy - to say nothing of a completely empty purse. Many readers would say that to ask anyone in such circumstances to trust in God would be demanding too much of any man. Well, I would never ask anyone to do what I would not do myself, or what I have not done myself. I have had to face such experiences myself, and of course I did not find them easy, but each time I was brought through. Each time that I considered my financial position I felt a thrill of fear go through me. But, somehow or other, I managed to maintain my faith. Of course, it would have been far less difficult for me if I could have lived in the consciousness of Divine supply, but I had not then reached that stage. Jesus said, 'But seek ye first the Kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added unto you'. What did He mean by this? I suppose that I have heard thousands of sermons but I have never listened to one which explained what Jesus actually meant by this statement. What did Jesus mean by the Kingdom of God? He meant conscious union with God. What did Jesus mean by 'His "righteousness.? He meant God s Divine order. Therefore logically paraphrase the words of Jesus into: 'But seek first a state of union with God 's consciousness of abundant perfection and completeness, for if you do this inwardly, then outwardly you will have all your material needs supplied.' Having been brought up and trained in a consciousness of lack and limitation, I naturally found it very difficult to change over to a consciousness of abundance and plenty. I had been brought up in the idea. that we live in an unfriendly universe, and that everything is against us. Also that we have to chase after things, and hold tight on to them otherwise they would slip from our grasp. And all the time that I remained in that consciousness things eluded me. When I thought that I had them within my grasp they slipped away from me. I had also been nurtured in the idea that we are separate from God. Consequently my life suffered in much the same way as that of the prodigal son. He left his father's home (state of union) and went into a far country (state of apparent separateness), the consequence being that he hungered, and fed on pigs' swill. 'And no man gave to him.' Then, when he returned home (to a state of unity with his Divine Source), he experienced plenty and abundance. 'Life, of course, is not for feasting and gluttony; life also is not meant to be austere and severely ascetic. The middle path, so I have found, is always the path of wisdom. Moderation and simplicity should be practiced, instead of going to extremes. It was never meant, however, that man should live a life of indigence. Jesus promised that all the things necessary for a full and care-free life would be added. He did not say that only part of them would come to the one who sought first the consciousness of oneness with the Creative Spirit, but that all necessary things should be added. I have always found that the simplest methods were the most effective in my case. I discovered that words have power to cleanse the consciousness of wrong ideas, and to instill right ideas in their place. Appearances and my feelings told me that I was not paying my way, and that I was not well. .Troubles never come singly', so that when I was not feeling well, bad news would arrive and worries would pile up! When I was in one of these black moods, I thought that it was due to my circumstances, instead of which my worrying and depressing circumstances were the result of my depressed moods. I discovered a very simple way of dispersing dark moods. I would take a deep breath and say: 'Health, success, happiness and joy.' I needed health very much, I also needed success in my affairs, and also I longed to be happy and filled with joy. When I uttered the words I became lifted up - if only slightly; yet it was a move in the direction of liberation. I found that long arguments did me no good, but repeating these words did lift me up. Needless to say I soon slipped back again into the black, hopeless mood; but again and again I would repeat the performance. I did not say, 'I am health', or 'I am success', but simply, 'health', success'. If I had said that I was health when I was unwell, I should have been stating what was not true; if I had claimed to be successful, when obviously I was a failure at the time, I should have been going against the facts - therefore the statements would have been rejected by the inner mind, and the very opposite of what I claimed would have been manifested. But stating the words in the way I did could produce only good results. It kept the ego out of the picture: that is, the false ego of illusion and separateness. It may be thought by some that the words which I used were mere abstractions, and therefore could not be helpful. On the contrary, I found their use very helpful. I found that such words have power. They represent, or stand for, real potencies and powers in the Invisible. Consequently if we can but anchor our mind to these substantial realities, powers and principles, then states corresponding to their nature and quality will manifest in our visible life. Some who have attained to God-consciousness have done so through repeating the word 'God'. In the East they intone the sacred word Om, or Aum. From this it can be seen that if we make use of certain constructive words - words which stand for eternal principles and archetypal ideas - then our mind becomes anchored in 'That which changes not', and which never decays or becomes old, and which is the eternal pattern or archetype. On looking back, over my life I can see how wisely I have been led by the Spirit. Quite ignorant, and having no one to teach me and no good books to guide me, I was yet led to make the right use of words, and to avoid the evils of affirmation of the 'I am' type. What has all this to do with the law of abundance? Everything. As already pointed out, my dark moods were probably not the result of distressing circumstances, but rather the other way about. Assuming this to be true (which I believe to be the case), the use of words in the way I was led to practice was both sound and scientific. If my moods were the cause of the dark experiences, then the practical and scientific thing to do was to cure the mood, after which the circumstances would heal themselves. It may be thought strange that I said nothing about supply or plenty. I was no doubt led to omit all such references, but it seems to me now that it was not necessary to include any reference to supply, for if we can attain to a mental state of health and happiness, and a joyful sense of being on top of things, then all necessary supply and all manner of Divine good will naturally follow. It is our moods which have to be overcome, and not our circumstances. If we get our moods right, then circumstances will right themselves. This is why Jesus said that we should seek first the Kingdom of God and His righteousness, after which all necessary things would be added. The effect of acting in the way I did was that in course of time I found myself lifted up on to a higher plane, in a state of oneness with the Perfect, and this enabled me to overcome my difficulties. 'When that which is Perfect is come, then that which is in part shall be done away.' That is to say, when we find ourselves one with, and forming part of, the Real and Perfect, then all our troubles and difficulties become overcome and conquered. They disappear, because they are not anything in themselves, but are simply the result of our lack of, and separation from, the Real and Perfect. Another baneful emotion which I had to overcome was envy. I had been taught when young that envy was a sin, and that we should not indulge in it; but I never knew that it was a cause of poverty and lack. I had to learn this by experience. When I went to the bank to pay in all I could scrape together, the somewhat meagre results of a tremendous amount of work and industry, and also to draw out as little as possible, it made me rather envious to see other people paying in much more than I, and drawing out far more than ever I would dream of doing. It not only made me envious, but also mildly resentful. Here was I, working almost till my eyes dropped out, paying in so little and drawing out only a pittance, while other people seemed to be having a much better time, and able to draw out of the bank in one day more than I could pay in a whole month ! So I thought how much better it would be if I could do the same or something very similar. But entertaining envious thoughts is one of the worst possible things for us to do, for it puts us in a negative position. By doing so we acknowledge that our position in life is inferior, thus putting ourselves in a position similar to that of one who asks for alms. So long as we retain this attitude of mind, the things we need and want will tend to flow from us instead of to us. The remedy for this state of affairs is to bless those whose apparently more fortunate state might otherwise incite us to envy. The cause of our straitened circumstances is our own state of mind. Instead of knowing that all things are ours, and that all the resources of the Infinite are behind us, seeking to find expression through us, the dominant thought in our mind is that nothing is ours and that if we do not chase after things we shall lose them. But if we bless those whose prosperity annoys us or excites our envy, and pray that they may become even more prosperous and blessed in every possible way, then through so doing we heal our own state of mind. When we pray in this way and pour out our blessing upon those who apparently are so much better off than ourselves, we enter the consciousness of one who, possessing all things, pours out of his abundance plenteous gifts upon others. In other words, by blessing others, we ourselves are blessed and all sense of inferiority and lack is overcome. Many a tussle have I had with myself over this. My early training, although so good in most ways, was against me in this respect. My father was for ever condemning those who got on in life: he said that such people were hard, ruthless and selfish. But child as I was, I could see that he was envious of the very people he condemned, and also that he was covetous of their prosperity. Now there is nothing more destructive and more calculated to drive supply away from us, than this - to condemn and judge harshly those who are better off at the time than we are, at the same time being envious of their prosperity and covetous of their wealth. It is quite clear to me now that if the temptation to envy had been given way to at that time, I should never have overcome my poverty complex and consequently would never have entered into a state of liberty as regards supply. I have had many talks with men who have come down in life: men who started life with everything in their favour, yet who have let everything slip through their fingers until at last they have had to live on the charity of their children. In every case I have found that they condemned those who had passed them in the race of life, and yet envied them their success and coveted their wealth. They complained that they never had a chance, and that no one ever helped them. Having been brought up in an atmosphere of condemnation and envy, it is not surprising that I experienced difficulty in breaking away from it. But I do not think that I did any condemning although I must confess that I thought that those who appeared to be more fortunate than I were to be envied, and that I would like to be as fortunate as they. This of course was sheer wishful thinking and most weakening. As I have already stated, I found that the remedy was to pray for those who were better off than myself so that instead of envying them I desired most strongly that they should be blessed and prospered more than ever. Although I prayed in order that they might be blessed, and not myself, the result was that I was wonderfully blessed in that I found myself delivered entirely from an envious spirit, and instead of being an indulger in wishful thinking, I was a dispenser of blessing. Prayer of this character brings us right into our God Centre, so that it is as though God were speaking benedictions and pouring out blessings upon those for whom we pray. The great secret: of liberty therefore is the practice of the Presence of God. We can practice the Presence as a help in our work and in our spiritual unfoldment; we can also do so as an aid to healing, realizing that we live and move and have our being in the Infinite Life, and that we draw our strength from the One Life which never grows old. We can also practice the Presence of God as the Source of all supply: we can realize that here, with us, is all that we need in its invisible form, in the Invisible which surrounds us. As we bless others and pray that their lives may be filled with Divine abundance, it becomes possible for blessing to come into our own lives. We do not beg and pray for it - we express it: it flows through us. Of course, I have nothing to say to encourage those who expect things to fall into their lap. I believe in work and plenty of it, and in trying to serve so well that life owes us something. But work alone is not sufficient: the imagination must be reorientated. Neither would I hold out any hopes for those who have made a definite mental demand, expecting it to be demonstrated in a certain form. My experience has been that it is the unexpected which usually happens, and that what we invoke from the Invisible very often comes to us in quite a different form from that which we may have outlined. But always God does exceeding abundantly, above all that we ask or think. 15 CEASELESS, INTERIOR PRAYER I have already related, my first idea of prayer was to beg and pray that life should be altered. In my youth, that seemed to be the generally accepted idea of prayer - simply begging and pleading with God to be merciful. If one spoke about prayer it was assumed that one meant supplication and begging. I have known people to say that they left off praying years ago; yet they were praying people. What they meant was that they left off beseeching God for things and favours. After many years of supplicating which was not successful in my case, I discovered that making demands upon God in a very positive way, did bring results. But I found through experience that although I might get what I wanted, yet only too often when I got it it proved more of a curse than a blessing. Then again, even if the thing I got was not exactly wrong, there could not be any blessing in it because I was trying to get all I possibly could from life, instead of trying to give as much as possible. It was later on that I learnt that it is more blessed to give than to receive', and that we should keep on giving until at last there comes an overflow, after which nothing can keep blessings from coming to us. It was a great day for me when, after praying for blessings for many years, I suddenly realized that God is always blessing us and that blessings flow from our Central Source continuously. 'If that is the case', I reasoned, 'then instead of asking for blessings, what I ought to do is to thank God for the blessings He is continuously showering upon me.' Instead of saying ”I pray Thee” I ought to say, 'I thank Thee'. This at first sight might seem to be contrary to the teaching of Jesus who said: 'What things soever ye desire, when ye pray, believe that ye receive (them), and ye shall have (them).' But that belonged to an earlier stage of prayer. On another occasion we get a glimpse of a higher stage, the kind of prayer Jesus himself used, when at the tomb of Lazarus he said: 'I thank Thee Father because Thou hast heard me'; also when Jesus fed the multitudes, he blessed and gave thanks: he did not supplicate or demand. Of course, we can thank God for something which we desire, in order to get it, but while this may bring us a certain amount of satisfaction, especially if we are successful in getting what we desire, yet it does not bring joy to the soul. If however we thank God out of sheer gratitude for all His goodness, for all His love and for all that He has done for us, and the blessings which He is continually pouring upon us, then our soul becomes satisfied and our heart filled with joy. We receive so much from God, and yet how little we thank Him for all His goodness! The more we advance in experience and understanding, the more we realize that God is all Goodness and that His one great desire is to bring to us the utmost possible joy and blessedness. As the years passed by, I found myself getting into the habit more and more of thanking God so that it became a habit with me. When I thank God, I look inwards to the region of the solar plexus and this gives me a feeling of power. I developed this sense or feeling of power through making use of the Psalm 103 I used to use, and still frequently do. The first verse, 'Bless the LORD O my soul: and all that is within me, bless His holy name'. It was more particularly the words, 'and all that is within me' which I used most - and as I said them I called upon all that was within me, to bless and praise the holy name. I tried to pour out my soul and all that I really am, in adoration, praise and thanksgiving. My breathing had something to do with it, for I found that quite unconsciously and without intent that I always breathed out while I repeated the words with all the strength I could command. Gradually the solar plexus region became quickened and made alive. At first there were a few faint flutterings, but in course of time these increased until there was a feeling of life and power. Consequently, when later on I came to the conclusion that I wanted to thank God continually, I found it easy to do so with fervour, and with the feeling that I was putting all my soul into the words which I uttered. The two disciples who walked to Emmaus, and who conversed with Jesus and listened to his exposition of the Scriptures said afterwards, 'Did not our heart burn within us while He talked with us by the way? I think that by the term 'heart' that they really referred to the solar plexus which was aroused into life and activity, through their close contact with Jesus after His resurrection. It would be easy for them to mistake the heart for the solar plexus which is a network of nerves situated behind the stomach and in front of the aorta, whereas the heart is merely the great pump which circulates the blood. (note from Margareth Lee: Henry Hamblin apparently did not experience the warm glowing energy in the region of the heart and did not realize there were more centres to be awakened) Anyway, it is this area which becomes alive, and which gives us a feeling of power, yet what the connection is between the solar plexus and our spiritual unfoldment, I do not know. There are those who teach what they term 'solar plexus breathing' which, so they aver, arouses inward powers. Whether such claims can be justified I do not know, for I have never practiced breathing in order to arouse spiritual powers. It seems to me to be putting the cart before the horse to try to arouse spiritual power by means of breathing exercises. I think the right way is to keep turning to God and pouring out our soul in love and thanksgiving, not in order to receive power, but simply because we are so grateful that we feel that we want to do so, and never to cease doing so. I think that it is unwise and even dangerous to awaken spiritual centres by methods of breathing. They might be opened before we are ready, and this would indeed be a catastrophe. We are told that the possession of power corrupts. It does indeed do so if we are not ready for it, and not sufficiently humble and surrendered. But to continue my story, I found myself thanking God at all times-not for anything in particular, but for everything I simply wanted to thank Him, because of the love in my heart. Jesus said that we should love the Lord our God with all our heart, and with all our soul, and with all our strength. I found this to be true. I found that I loved God with all my heart, soul and strength-with all the power that I possessed; and the more I tried to express this, the more power I received with which to love God. Gradually I developed a technique similar to that of the Russian pilgrim which is described in that well-known book The Way of a Pilgrim. Those who have read it will remember that the pilgrim was told by his starets to repeat a certain prayer verbally six and even twelve thousand times daily for a specific number of days. But this was only a beginning. Gradually the pilgrim learned to pray mentally and also to coordinate his prayer with his breathing and also with the beating of his heart. The prayer was: 'Lord Jesus Christ have mercy on me'. As he breathed in the pilgrim would say: 'Lord Jesus Christ', allowing one beat of the heart for each word, then as he exhaled, he would say: 'have mercy on me', also allowing one heart-beat for each word. My prayer was different from that of the Russian pilgrim. I did not feel it necessary to keep asking for mercy, because I knew that mercy flows from God like a river. What I wanted to do was to thank God for His boundless mercy and love, So my prayer was simply, 'I thank Thee'. Neither did I find it necessary to repeat my prayer verbally, hundreds of thousands of times. I began with mental prayer straight away. Also regarding breath control, I was able to manage this quite easily. So as I breathed in I said, 'I thank Thee, I thank Thee, I thank Thee' in time with the beating of my heart. I could feel the throbbing of my pulse by holding either my neck or one of my wrists. There is another great difference between the two methods. The Russian pilgrim could only say his prayer once during a complete breath, whereas I was able to say mine six times: RUSSIAN PILGRIM'S METHOD
THE OTHER METHOD
The idea behind both systems is that we should pray without ceasing. We should make such a habit of saying our prayer that subconsciously it continues ceaselessly both day and night. While we are engaged in our ordinary surface activities, and even while we are asleep, this subconscious prayer continues. That is, of course, if we have mastered the art by constant, persevering practice. Thomas R. Kelly, in his now well-known book, A Testament of Devotion (Friends House), speaks of a somewhat similar method of prayer. He describes it as 'walking in the vast fellowship of unceasing prayer'. He suggests such simple whispered words as 'Thine only, Thine only', or a fragment of one of the Psalms, such as, 'so panteth my soul after Thee, O God'. He says that such phrases should be repeated over and over again, for the conscious co-operation of the surface level is needed at first, before prayer sinks into the second level as habitual divine orientation. He does not advocate keeping to one prayer, but recommends a change from time to time, during the day. He also points out that 'this inner level has a life of its own, invigorated not by us, but by a divine Source'. This is very true. As I write at this very moment I am conscious of a greater life within which thrills and fills me with its power, and also its love and compassion. This inner life is part of the One Life which is in all men. We are all one; we are one in Him, and He is in us. I have found however that most people cannot manage either of the above methods. They would be quite willing to buy and read a lot of books on the subject, if such could be procured, but they do not seem able to practice either the Russian method or the other one. What many questing people need, so it seems to me, is not to read more books but rather to put into practice the little bit of Truth which they already possess. If they were to do so, then greater understanding would come to them. There is however a simpler method which, so I think, most people who are really in earnest might follow to their advantage. It can be used whenever the seeker thinks of it, or can find a moment to spare in his busy and strenuous life for its practice. As often as possible during the day he can use it, and also if he awakens during the night, he can apply himself to it. This in course of time will bring about quickening and a sense of inner life and power. It consists of relaxing, taking a deep breath, and then praying mentally, 'I thank Thee, I thank Thee, I thank Thee' and so on, according to the capacity for deep breathing which one possesses. As one exhales, the words should be repeated inwardly with great earnestness; indeed, one should put all one's strength into them. While breathing in, it is not possible to do this to the fullest extent, but when breathing out great power and intensity can be infused into the words. We should not only follow this practice as an exercise: we should also use it when we want to thank God for everyday mercies and blessings. Blessings are constantly being showered upon us, but how little we take heed! If we acknowledge God in all our ways then we find our life filled with blessings, for the more we thank God the more blessings we discover for which we want to thank Him. Also if we thank God for the things we do not like, such as distasteful tasks, we find in due course that there is something in them which we can like and be interested in, and this makes the work much less fatiguing and our life much happier. Also, it makes a great difference to our health. If we allow exasperation to creep into our work, our nervous system suffers as also does our happiness. Blessing and thanking God for the duty which is distasteful to us changes us so that we meet those experiences which ordinarily would exasperate us with sympathy and co-operation. Although so simple, this practice is very advanced - not intellectually, thank God, for it is something which we all can follow - but advanced as regards our spiritual unfoldment. When we engage continuously, or almost continuously, in thanking God for everything with all our heart and strength, we have entered the last lap of the race which is set before us. Rufus Moseley in his book Manifest Victory, describes this as the fourth empire. In this realm, conflicts are overcome, not through compromise, but through fulfillment and transfiguration of conflicting factors. It is as if the conflicting factors were taken up into a realm where they manifest themselves as complements rather than opposites. But this is beyond ordinary logic. Moseley continues: 'Even in the glimpsing of such a realm, I was superlatively satisfied, so satisfied that I asked for nothing. I rejoiced in the whole purpose of God and in all His works, as I was permitted to see them through such different and healing eyes. The consummation and all the experiences leading to it were seen together in eternity as a single glorious consummation …In this realm prayer becomes thanksgiving, the giving of thanks for everything.' I thank our beloved brother for these words. They are another way of describing what we call the Mid-Point, where all opposing forces are reconciled and become one. Both of us are trying to get the same truth across to our readers, yet with this difference, perhaps: friend Moseley says that when we reach what he terms the fourth empire, we find that we have to ask for nothing, and merely give thanks for everything; whereas I suggest that if we continually thank God for everything, then we find ourselves in the fourth empire, or state of God-consciousness, in which we feel within us the power of the Hidden Life. This is far beyond the Russian Pilgrim's prayer which contained no thanks, but was a continuous imploring on his part for mercy. But his prayer had one merit which our prayer of continuous thanksgiving lacks - and this is that it repeats the name of JESUS. Neither does Kelly use the actual name of JESUS. The phrases he suggests are very devotional and lovely, but he does not use the actual name of JESUS. It may be said that the name is implied also in my prayer of 'I thank Thee'. But that is not quite the same thing, for there is power in the Name. Now to get back to our main theme -- ceaseless, interior prayer. At first the prayer can be maintained only by conscious effort. We have to keep remembering and then uttering the prayer, inwardly and mentally. This may continue for a long time, and we may seem to make but little progress. The first intimation we may have of any progress being achieved is when we experience a feeling of there being something wrong: we are dissatisfied and restless and cannot think what the matter can be. But all at once we remember that we are not praying! Then directly we start the prayer going again we experience a feeling of great relief - it is like the prodigal son getting back to his father's home again. Also if we find our work becoming trying and exhausting it will be found that it is because our inward prayer has stopped. Then, as soon as we restart the prayer, a sense of well-being returns and our work ceases to be an effort and a strain. The fact that we feel uneasy and unhappy whenever we leave off our inward prayer proves that the continuous inward prayer habit is being established. If we continue to persevere it will not be so very long before it is established wholly and completely. We may be unconscious of the prayer while it is at work, but we quickly become aware of the fact should it be suspended. Again, we may wake up in the night and feel a sense of hopelessness, or the mind may want to think and worry about mundane things. But directly we re-start the prayer, everything becomes all right again and we enter into God's peace, and find ourselves in perfect relationship with the one Complete Whole of which we form a part. I have found that it is possible to combine the name JESUS with our prayer of thanksgiving. We can repeat the sacred and all-powerful Name three times as we inhale, and 'I thank Thee' three times as we exhale. Thus:
It may seem more rhythmic to take four heart beats when breathing in, and three when breathing out (or vice versa), making seven in all, but each one should do what seems best and most harmonious. As I have already said, the majority of people will not want to try to master the technique of co-ordinating the words, the breath and the heart beat, but will be satisfied to keep on repeating the words. This of course is the most important thing - to repeat the words, at the same time putting all possible feeling of love and gratitude into them. We should try to put the utmost love and intensity into our prayer - in other words, our prayer should be a giving of ourselves to God. We should pour out our soul to God, giving all that we have and are, to Him without holding anything back. We have long left behind us the elementary idea of praying to God in order to receive something. Now, all that we want to do is to give ourselves and our all to God. Give, give, give - that is all that we desire to do ! Therefore our constant prayer is one of thanksgiving: 'I thank Thee, I thank Thee, I thank Thee', uttered with all the intensity of our being, and all the strength of which we are capable. This, coupled with the use of the Name which is above every name, will make the prayer all-powerful so that we become changed from day to day. And as we become changed, so also shall we find others change correspondingly. It is important that I should emphasize the following point: no one should attempt at first to do more than repeat the prayer. If the beginner will be content to do this, then in course of time he will find it increasingly easy to keep the prayer going below the level of consciousness. Probably later on, without planning it, he will find his breathing falling into line quite naturally, so that he does not have to trouble about it. Anyway, the first important thing is to establish the repetition of the words of the prayer at a level below consciousness, and to be satisfied with this. Nothing that is attempted should be a strain - if it is, then it should be abandoned. Everything we do in the way of prayer should be happy and joyful, leading to God's peace. 16 HOW I FOUND GOD'S INWARD PEACE As I have never kept a diary I cannot say when precisely it was that I found God's inward peace, or when it began to flow through me like a river. Perhaps there was no precise date, for I think I began to experience the peace of God after passing through a trying experience or a severe trial of faith. When deliverance came, and the strain and stress, struggle and strife were over, then what I experienced seemed to me to be similar to that which came to Jesus after His temptation in the wilderness. We are told that angels came and ministered to Him. Now what was true of Jesus must also be true of us, for we all have to make the journey of Jesus. He came, it is true, to destroy the works of the devil, but He also called us to follow Him. He came in order to show us how to tread the Path of Regeneration, so that we too might become one of the Immortals, a Son of God, joint heirs with Himself. Therefore whatever Jesus passed through, we also have to pass through. Just as He met and overcame times of great testing, trial and temptation, so also do we have to meet, in a much smaller way of course, similar tests and trials. Consequently, when we have been brought through a severe testing time, it may be that we, too, are ministered to by angels in the same way that Jesus was. Of course, I cannot prove this. It is only a surmise on my part. But it seems to me to be a reasonable surmise. All that I actually know is that on such occasions I have become filled with God's inward peace. It is an indescribable experience, to glide out on to the ocean of God's peace, and yet at the same time to be conscious of God's peace flowing through us like a river. It is bliss unalloyed. The highest human bliss is but a miserable counterfeit of the real bliss which comes to the soul on such occasions. As I write this I am filled with blissful emotions. At such times, it may well be that we are ministered by angels. All that we can be sure of is that we find God's inward peace; that we are immersed in it, and that it flows through us like a river. The effect of a great trial or test is to throw us back upon God, and to make us seek God, and to stay our mind upon God, more than ever we have done before. Also it causes us to surrender ourselves to God, so utterly and completely that we find Him in a new and more intimate way than ever before. The effect of all this is that we become attuned to the mind of God, and thus we enter into His peace - the same peace which God Himself enjoys. Before we can enter into God's peace we have to be prepared for it. It was many years before I found it. Of course, my whole previous life had been a preparation for this great experience, but I had to spend many years of actual conscious seeking before I was rewarded. I do not think that I really sought for peace so much as I sought for God, in order to find release from great trials and difficulties. I knew that my poor tormented soul could never find rest apart from God, and also that I could never be released from my sins and weaknesses except through finding God; neither could I be delivered out of my great trials and sufferings except through really knowing God. At the time, the torments I went through seemed very hard to bear. It did not seem that flesh and blood could bear the stream, the suffering seemed past all human endurance. It did not seem possible to endure it and live. One was not tempted to do what Job was tempted to do by his wife, to 'curse God, and die', but instead to cast oneself into the arms of Divine Love and die of grief. But that would never do, for we are exhorted to 'endure hardness, as good soldiers of Jesus Christ', which means that we must never give in, but must endure to the end, or be willing to do so. To those who are faithful, God has promised to give a crown of life. 'Be thou faithful unto death, and I will give thee a crown of life.' We are not called upon to pass through fiery torments merely for nothing, or for a joke. There is a purpose in everything, and nothing comes to us which is not for our highest good. We are not the sport of an unkind fate, but are being led and guided by Infinite Love and Wisdom. The cause of our fiery trial is that we are so determined to find God and really to know Him, that we are willing to suffer anything and to sacrifice everything in order to be successful in our quest. There is a great difference between one who has one consuming desire to find God at any cost, and one who merely uses God-powers, so that he can have a comfortable life here on earth. Jesus said: 'For many are called, but few chosen': many are called, but it is only a comparative few who are willing to 'go the other mile. There are many who are willing to add religion to their lives - to go to church on Sunday, to subscribe to church funds, and to listen to a good sermon; but there are only a few who are prepared to go all out in their search for God. There are many who are willing to take all that they can get from religion, but there are not many who are willing to leave all and follow Jesus. Why then should those who give up their all, in order to put the quest before everything else, have to pass through such tormenting experiences? Why should they have to pass through times of anguish, while those who only make use of God-powers for their self-interest have a comparatively good time? The reason is this - that in our eagerness we press on so fast that we enter a reality for which we are not yet quite prepared. Swedenborg speaks of spirits belonging to a lower plane wanting to go to a heavenly one, and that when their wish was granted they were so tormented by the love, joy, peace and loveliness of Heaven that they begged to be taken back to an environment more suited to their inward state. Heaven did not torment them, for it was all Love and Goodness; it was the visitors' lack of correspondence with heavenly vibrations which caused their sufferings. It is the same with us. Our soul is tormented because it is for ever pushing on to higher vibrations, and these at first are painful. These painful experiences are due entirely to the vibrations of Divine Love being too high and powerful for us, but the very experiences themselves change us so that we become adapted to the new conditions. As soon as this is achieved we enter into a measure of God's peace. This may last for a time. It is like a rest at the Delectable Mountains in Bunyan's Pilgrim's Progress. But soon we are found pressing on again, and again being tormented and. tried, simply because we are not yet conformed to His Image. We have again to pass through the furnace - but the flames of this fiery ordeal can consume only that which is of no use to us, and which indeed is a hindrance to us. These peaceful rests always come after a big and trying experience. We go forward for a time, and things go more or less smoothly; then we come to a standstill, and clouds gather. Then after another season of testing and trial we enter into a state of rest and peace. Our progress seems to be like that of a plant which grows for a time, and then comes to a standstill, so that it can recuperate and become filled again with life and energy. Then when it is ready, it again goes forward. The same law applies to us and our spiritual growth. Things do not go smoothly all the time: we have to be willing to wait when we are brought to a standstill, and we must be willing to go forward when called upon to do so. Also we must accept the tests and trials of life, for by so doing we make it possible for God to lead us in the right path; that is, the only path which can lead us to God's peace, and His eternal joy. What I want to emphasize is that everything is right at the time. We can only unfold in a Divinely ordered way, like the unfolding of a flower. We may fret and fume over apparent hindrances, but they form part of our training; we can only advance through meeting with resistance, and through being subjected to trials and tests. The object of these experiences is to bring us into God's peace. That is the glorious thing about God's dealings with us - everything is designed for our good, and in order to bring us into His perfect peace. When God first began to deal with me in this more advanced way I was filled with anguish and grief; I thought the experience was evil, and could see no good in it. Then when things seemed at their worst, it was suddenly given me to know that the black cloud which overshadowed me was big with mercy and that it would 'break in blessing on my head'. Directly I realized this, I entered into a measure of peace such as I had never experienced before. I cannot remember ever having experienced such a measure of God's peace before, neither had I previously ever had to pass through such a time of remedial tribulation. Consequently I came to the conclusion that one could only find God's peace through tribulation. At this point I parted company with all those who teach attainment without tears, for I felt convinced that such a thing was impossible. We can attain only if we are prepared to go all the way with Jesus, instead of only part of the way. There are many who are willing to go with Him as far as Gethsemane but there, like the disciples, they fall asleep and that is as far as they get. If we are willing to go all the way, then this makes it possible for us to meet with the tribulations and trials which are necessary if we are to find God's inward peace, and to experience His eternal joy. There are millions of people today whose religion is really an attempt to avoid what I have termed redemptive tribulation. They are willing to go with Jesus part of the way; they are willing to go with Him so long as He provides the loaves and the fishes, and heals their sicknesses. But when they discover that His Kingdom is a Spiritual one, and not a material one, they walk no more with Him. or should they find themselves at Gethsemane, they forsake Him and flee from Him. 'No cross, no crown' is an old saying which is almost forgotten in these times, but it is eternally true, for we can never get something for nothing. Millions are trying their best to avoid the cross, but in so doing they will certainly lose the crown. 'If any man will come after me', said Jesus, 'let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me.' I think that before my redemptive tribulation started, I must have belonged to the great army of those who cherish the vain hope of attainment without tears. But my first great searching experience convinced me that God deals with us in love, and that we have been called to a high estate - so high that the mind staggers at the thought of it - and that we are being trained for the high duties and responsibilities of our new calling. My difficulty was that I had been brought up (as I have already described) in the erroneous teaching that everything was done by somebody else: that we could sin and not suffer for it and also attain - although the word attainment was never used - without working for it. It is time that this weakening doctrine was discarded, and that we returned to the robust teaching of Jesus. But when I realized that God deals with us individually, and that we have to make the journey of Jesus and literally follow Him and pass through similar experiences; and also when I realized that the blessing is in the cloud, and that without the cloud there could be no blessing, it was then that I entered into a measure of God's peace. Then it was, I think, that I began to understand the inner meaning of the injunction of Jesus that we should agree with our adversary. Our adversary in this case means the hard experience, the redemptive experience which is so difficult to bear when it comes to us. Directly we co-operate with the unwanted experience it loses its power to hurt us. Now what do I mean by peace? To many people the word peace conjures up visions of funerals, marble monuments and wax flowers; it speaks to them of death, sadness, sorrow, bereavement, and sometimes even hopeless despair. This is because of the age-old error of thinking that it is through death that we find peace of soul which would be only a negative peace, a mere cessation of strife and struggle. But God's inward Peace is a very different thing. Instead of being a mere negative absence of struggle and turmoil, it is a positive thing in itself. It means coming into harmonious correspondence with the very peace which God Himself enjoys. In order to make such a thing possible we have to be tuned up like a musical instrument, so that we become attuned to the Divine Note which sounds eternally through the universe. No one can explain what God's peace is. We can experience it but cannot explain it or describe it. It transcends all words, but it fills us with bliss and joy. When God's peace comes, it is like a mighty river which bears us blissfully, along on its broad bosom; yet at the same time we become conscious of it flowing through us like a river. It is the most lovely experience which can come to us; it makes all earth's joys seem cheap and tawdry in comparison. But of course there can be no comparison. Now if we possess the peace of God we possess everything; if we have not the peace of God we possess nothing. So long as we possess the peace of God we are happy and filled with the joys of Heaven, but if we lose it then we are miserable and filled with anguish. Although we cannot define God's Inward Peace, yet we can carry it with us so that other people who are ready for it can become conscious of it. Just as people who are devil-ridden carry trouble with them wherever they go, which upsets those whom they meet, so also he who is filled with God's peace brings a sense of calm and peace to those with whom he comes into contact. Also it can be transmitted through the medium of letters. Nearly all the letters which I dictate finish with a prayer that the recipients may know God's inward peace, and that it may flow through them like a river. When I dictate this I really pray, and as I do so feel God's peace flowing through me like a river, and I feel lifted up into the Divine Light and Radiance and Glory. Sometimes a reader becomes conscious of this and feels lifted up for days in consequence. This shews that God's peace can be transmitted, and also that if recipients are ready to receive it they can become conscious of the same blissful peace which I experienced at the time I prayed for them. Well, to continue my story. After each trying experience and trial of faith I entered into God's peace. As I came to the end of the experience and was delivered out of my distress, I would experience a sense of great relief, and be filled with great joy and gratitude and praise and thanksgiving. This all blended into a lovely peace and bliss such as no one can describe. This might last for a time, but soon I would find myself in trouble again and filled with fears and forebodings. Then the whole process would begin again: working through the darkness and trying once again to find the peace I had lost. Of course in the case of one who has advanced as far as I had done at that time, any lapse or departure from the true Path would bring very serious and painful consequences. A beginner can lapse seriously and suffer little as a result; but the farther we advance, the more serious becomes the result of any lapse on our part. Consequently such a lapse may deprive us of God's inward peace and also of any ordinary peace of mind which we might usually enjoy. Then begins the long journey back, beginning with confession of our sin to God. For if we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. Then we have to keep working through the darkness and aspiring Godwards, until at last we come out into the Light again and into God's peace. But I found that I had trying experiences to meet, even if there had not been any lapse on my part. This was due to the fact that the time had come for me to learn yet another lesson of life. Through all these experiences I was brought more deeply into God's peace. The mistake I made at first, and for a long time after, was in dealing with the outward disorder instead of the inward cause of it. All my experiences were of a twofold nature: there was trouble in the outward life, and darkness and almost despair in the inward life. When this happened, I fell into the error of thinking that the inward anguish was the result of the outward trouble, and so I tried to deal with it instead of seeking an inward adjustment. This was putting the cart before the horse. Although such cases were not brought on by any outward lapse, yet there was always an inward cause. This was not a lapse even in thought, but was really a lack of development. The experience might be described as a growing pain: I had still a lot to learn, and being a practical mystic (in the making) instead of a purely contemplative one, I could learn only through experience. Certainly I did not lack experiences, for no sooner was one trouble surmounted than another one was ready to appear - that is, after I had enjoyed a brief rest and enjoyment of God's peace. But each experience brought me nearer to the heart of God, and more deeply into His peace. It was a long time before I learned the right way of dealing with the experiences which came to me. At first I did what many people mistakenly do: try to wipe out the outward experience by what are called by some 'treatments'. Because I did not succeed, so that things had to take their natural course, I thought that my methods were at fault. But there was nothing wrong with my metaphysics; the fault was that I was trying to obliterate effects instead of dealing with causes. I had not yet learnt that it is always 'first within and then without: first in the unseen, then in the seen'. Or if I did know it, it was only in an intellectual way; I did not really know it by true understanding and certainly I did not put it into practice. In course of time, however, I began to realize that what was needed at such times was not an outward cure, but an inward adjustment. In other words, if I could only find God's inward peace, then the outward disorder could take care of itself. When once there was an inward adjustment, then an outward healing of circumstances and affairs would naturally follow, for the simple reason that the inward cause of the outward trouble had been removed. So instead of attacking the symptom I sought a removal of the underlying cause. In other words, I sought God's inward peace (or rather, I sought for an inward adjustment through a surrender of my will and all my desires to God, the result of which would be that I should enter into God's peace ). It might take a long time, but I was prepared to await God's time. Instead of concentrating upon an outward adjustment in my own strength and wisdom, I looked within and waited upon God for Him to bring about an inward adjustment, through which I might find His peace. As soon as I entered into God's peace and floated along on an ocean of bliss, feeling God's peace flowing through me like a river, the outward trouble - no matter how complicated it might be - began to dissipate, like a morning mist before the rising sun. How often have I longed to impart this knowledge to others! Especially to those dear souls who go from one teacher to another in a vain search for some magical formula or 'treatment' which would set them free from all their outward troubles. If instead they would seek God's inward peace, they would find a remedy for all their ills. The reward over the years of all these tests and trials is that we reach that state when God's peace is always with us. If a disturbing experience should rob us of our peace, it is quickly restored. This is because to be in God's peace has become the normal condition for us, consequently it is natural for peace to be restored. If we throw a stone into a pond the surface is rippled, but soon it becomes smooth again because it is normal for it to be smooth. God's inward peace is Heaven's most precious gift, for if we possess it we possess all things. Therefore we must on no account jeopardize it through any lapse or fault on our part. One of the most frequent causes of such a loss is the neglect of prayer and getting into touch with our Divine Centre and Source. So many start off well. They set aside an hour a day for meditation and devotional exercises, and all goes well for a time; but after some years, they begin to neglect the quiet hour, the result of which is that they become attuned to things of time and decay, instead of the things which fade not away. It is so easy to backslide; but it is not easy to get back to the peace and joy which we once enjoyed. To keep in touch with God and thus to enjoy His peace does not require either cleverness or great will-power. All that we need are persistence and perseverance. Finding God's inward peace, and being carried along on it as though upon a mighty river, and then finding that it also flows through us like a river, seems to explain what Jesus said in His wonderful prayer given us in John 14:20, 'I am in my Father, and ye in me, and I in you. ' This cannot be understood by the human mind, but when we find ourselves laved in God's peace, and at the same time find God's peace flowing through us like a river, we realize or know the truth, and the Truth makes us free. We experience inwardly that which we cannot grasp with the outward understanding. 17 ON PRAYER, MEDITATION AND CONTEMPLATION As already related, my father was a man of much prayer which consisted mostly of agonized entreaties on behalf of us children that we should not be eternally lost and damned. Years afterwards I did much the same thing; I even banged my head on the ground in my agony and fervour - both were supplicatory, beseeching in content. Such prayer is the best that we are capable of at the time. It is easy for us to look back later and be faintly amused at it all, seeing that God is Love to all Eternity and is the Essence of Goodness, and always doing the best for us. Supplicatory prayer is, as I say, all right at the time. It is a turning to God, and that is the all-important thing. If we persevere with it, so that we turn to God frequently, then although our prayers may not be answered in the way we hoped, yet they will be answered in another way: we will be given insight and understanding. Then we realize with gratitude that God is at work always, bringing us to the highest good that we are capable of bearing at the time. Now I must confess that I was very frequently both disappointed and discouraged when, after praying vehemently for a long time, the very thing which I dreaded still came to pass, or the thing which I wanted still eluded me. It seemed that my unkind fate was inexorable, and that when I prayed, 'the Heavens were as brass'. Yet when another great trouble or difficulty arose, I would start praying again, but still without achieving the results hoped for. Surely this shows that man is by nature a praying creature. The reason why none of my prayers ever seemed to be answered was probably due to the fact that they were purely supplicatory. I did not pray in the way taught by Jesus, but simply implored and beseeched God: I did not exercise faith; I did not believe that what I asked for was already mine. I paid no attention to the text 'Before they call, I will answer, and while they are yet speaking, I will hear'. Evidently I did not take the trouble to enquire into the subject for if I had done so, I should have discovered that those who were great in prayer used to supplicate to some purpose. They did not merely supplicate and remain in a state of conscious lack as I did, but they prayed until they knew that God had heard their prayer. Then they asked no more but instead praised and thanked God because He had answered their prayer. And they did this, in spite of the fact that there might still be no visible change in their affairs. Apparently everything that was wrong in their life remained unaltered; but in spite of this they kept on praising and thanking God because He had already answered their prayer. It is extraordinary what can be achieved by some people through believing prayer. George Müller is known principally because through prayer he attracted a million and a quarter pounds sterling to his work for orphans; he also had power over the forces of Nature. Once the ship on which he was sailing was stopped by a thick fog. Müller realized that if this continued he would be late for a preaching appointment and also that his whole program would be thrown out of gear. So he took the captain below and got him to join him in prayer. The captain agreed to do so, just to humour an old man who must be touched in the head to imagine that prayer could disperse a thick fog! They both knelt down and Muller prayed for the fog to be dispersed. Then he said to the astonished captain: 'Come up on deck and see the fog disperse.' They went up on deck, and already the fog had half disappeared. In a few minutes it had gone completely and the ship was able to steam full speed ahead to its destination. And so George Müller kept his appointment. The point to note in this case is that George Müller (who was by this time greatly experienced in prayer, having had about fifty years practice) did not pray alone - he took the captain with him. I think there was a reason for this, and also for the words of Jesus: 'lf any two of you shall agree on earth as touching anything that they shall ask, it shall be done for them of my Father which is in heaven': But on the other hand there have been some great praying people who have been able to work alone. For instance, Holy Ann of Toronto achieved some amazing things simply through asking her Father. One was to pray about a well, which had gone dry. Those who had been down it said that the bottom was as dry as the kitchen floor. Ann was asked to pray about it, so she did. The next morning there was plenty of water and, so the record goes, the well has never since failed. Of course such praying can be carried too far. There is the healing of a woman through the prayer of Holy Ann which does not make good reading. In this case Ann really demanded that the woman should be healed and healed she was - to become a curse to herself and her husband. Holy Ann admitted that she had gone too far in demanding this particular healing from God. We learn through experience that it is possible to pray for the wrong things; and so if we are powerful enough to get our own way, life is made worse instead of better. We do not know at the time that our real object in making supplications is not actually to get God to give us something: or to do something, but is really to find and know God. The prodigal son was disgusted with his diet of pig's food and decided to return home where there was 'bread enough and to spare'. But what he really wanted was to return to his father; in the same way, our real desire is to get back to God, our Centre. We may think that we want this, that or the other, but really at the back of it all is a deep longing for God. There is also something else which we discover - that the thing which we pray for only too often is the very opposite of that which would be for our and others good. We might pray for difficulties to be removed and that we should not be tested and tried; but if our prayers were answered, the result might be that we became weakened and increasingly unfitted for the battle of life. However, we continue to pray and learn through experience. At first we pray that our will should be done, and that God should do what we want Him to do. We may go on thus for years (even many years), but a time comes when our affairs become so tangled that at last we begin to discover that we need Divine guidance. We may be faced by such a hopeless complexity in all our affairs that we have to acknowledge that we can do nothing about it. We realize that if the tangled skein of our life is to be unraveled, then it is only Infinite Wisdom, Love and Intelligence who can accomplish such an (to us) impossible task. And so the character of our prayer changes; gradually in this process of prayer evolution we learn to trust God more, and our own wisdom less. Now we are convinced that we are quite incapable of deciding what is best, or of finding our way through the maze of life. lf we are really in the Path of Life, and are not like those spoken of by Jesus as recorded in Matthew 7:21,22, we are brought in course of time - just at the right time, of course, when we are ripe for it - to our Gethsemane. Then we learn to pray, with Jesus, 'nevertheless, not as I will, but as Thou wilt'. Henceforward we pray only that God's will may be done, and that we may know the will of God so that we may follow it. This may include some sharp discipline, and we may be given difficult tasks to cope with, but these are all turned into stepping-stones and are really our greatest aids in our spiritual unfoldment, in spite of the fact that they appear to be hindrances. We begin to realize that God's will means everything being done according to the Divine order; that when God's will is done, then the Divine order begins to appear. Our life may be in a hopeless tangle but if we pray for a Divine adjustment, which means that the Divine order should be made manifest (which, in turn, means that the Divine will is done), then the tangle of our life begins to unravel in a most wonderful way. This of course is what one might term a 'long-term policy' of prayer yet it is not suggested that 'short-term policy' prayer should not be practiced. For we should turn to God for guidance and strength in every situation. We should seek Divine co-operation in everything and, like Brother Lawrence, ask God's help before commencing every task, and thank Him when it has been accomplished. If we should find ourselves faced by a state of lack and limitation, we can certainly speak to God about it. We know that such a state of affairs is not according to the will of God, consequently we can ask for deliverance and a state of harmonious adjustment. But we should also pray that whatever there may be in us which is the cause or partly the cause of our lack, that this may be removed or changed. Of course what most of us are concerned about is the welfare of those whom we love. When they are in dire trouble, how can we help them by means of prayer? It was this concern for our welfare which made my father pray for us children, in spite of his Calvinistic belief that our end was predestinated before the foundation of the world. And we of to-day also desire just as strongly to help those whom we love, through the medium of prayer. Indeed, if they are in trouble, it gives us an inward ache and gnawing at the heart which we feel can only be assuaged by turning to God on their behalf. And so we turn to God, using the words of the Psalmist as an introduction: '0, Thou that hearest prayer, unto Thee shall all flesh come'. (Psalm 65:2.) At first our object may be to get God to change or coerce our loved ones so that they change according to what we think they ought to be, or what they ought to do. But while this type of prayer is not answered, in the ordinary meaning of the term, yet it is answered in another sense, for it leads to a deeper understanding of what prayer is. The very practice of prayer, and the many experiences connected with it, gradually open our understanding so that we become aware of the fact that prayer as usually practiced is wrong, and that it is not God who has to change but we who have to become conformed to His pattern of perfection. Also we learn through experience that we must not coerce those for whom we pray. We must not pray that they should conform to our pattern of what we think they ought to be, or that they should be compelled to do what we think that they ought to do. We learn that when praying for them we should give them complete liberty; and also we learn that we must give God complete liberty as well. God is at work in the life of each one of us, consequently He is at work in the life of the one for whom we pray, just as much as in our own life. So gradually we are led to see that the best prayer we can pray is to hand our loved ones over to God, and give them up entirely to Him so that He can deal with them in His own way. Our loved ones will get on much better when we cease uttering our interfering and coercive prayers. For a long time however we fear to do so; we are afraid to trust God, afraid to commit our loved ones completely into His care. We still want to interfere - we cannot let them go entirely. But the time comes - it may be through much painful experience -when we are at last willing to release our loved ones from the bondage in which our well-meaning fears have held them. This is not by any means easy for most of us. But at last we are able to surrender our loved ones entirely to God, so that He can deal with them in His own way. Learning how to pray, so I have found in my own experience, is a long drawn-out process, extending over many years. Prayers, then, fall into two categories: first, our prayers are supplicatory, pure and simple; next, we may discover that it is more effective if we affirm that what we need is already an accomplished fact, and to thank God accordingly. We discover also that what is really needed is not that God should alter, or even do anything, but that what is really needed is that we should realize the fact that Divine perfection already IS, and is the reality concerning ourselves and our affairs. In other words, the causes of our troubles and disorders are in ourselves. And the principal cause is ignorance or lack of understanding of Truth. Therefore what is needed on our part is greater knowledge of Divine truth. This brings us to the next stage of prayer, which is Meditation. It is through meditation that our mind becomes attuned to the mind of God. Yet it does not suit everybody. My system of meditation is very simple, although not everyone can practice it for the simple reason that it deals with abstract thought. But for those who can think abstract thoughts, it is very easy indeed. (I would suggest, however, that those who find meditation difficult, tiring and a strain, should not proceed with it. Meditation should be a restful and happy exercise.) My system - which is quite original, so far as I know - is simplicity itself. All that I do is to hold a thought at the top of the mind, and keep it there. I do not think any other thoughts, but simply hold the one thought at the summit of my mind. Then without any help on my part, other thoughts of a like nature become attracted and settle - like a flock of pigeons settling on the roof of a house. By holding a thought, or idea, at the top of the mind, I really mean at the top of the head. We close our eyes, turning them upwards towards the top of the fore part of the head. We also direct our attention to the same spot, and in imagination hold the thought of Wholeness, or whatever it may be, just at that point. Each subject of meditation is an abstract thought, and each represents one of God 's attributes. Of course I am aware that God is far beyond all attributes, but we cannot very well meditate upon God without them. Also I know that what we call the 'attributes of God' are merely qualities which we ascribe to God, and are therefore merely human ideas. They represent what we think God should be like. But God is infinitely beyond all such ideas, therefore what they really represent are the qualities which belong to our real selves, or the real spiritual man - God's idea concerning each one of us. But meditating on what we term the attributes of God is a help towards knowing God: it is a bridge to understanding. For instance, if we meditate upon Wholeness, in course of time an understanding will come to us of the Divine idea behind wholeness which can never be put into words. Thus through meditation we enter into an understanding of real knowledge which the greatest intellect could never encompass and which, of course, could never be found in any book. When we have meditated on one attribute daily for a month, and the real meaning of it has been incorporated into our being, we can then take another one (Wholeness, Love, Justice, Mercy) and so on, for the next month. If we want to know the true inwardness of any word descriptive of God's nature, all that we have to do is to meditate upon it. We shall not be able to describe this true inwardness to others, but we can know it in our soul. But those who practice meditation should not overdo it. I have known one or two people who spent nearly their whole time in meditation and who neglected the practical duties of life in order to do so. As can well be imagined, the result was the reverse of satisfactory. A few minutes each day is all the time that most busy people can spare. There is a wise and happy middle course which we should follow in everything. I have always been inclined to fly to extremes, and have suffered accordingly; but experience has taught me that the middle path is the path of wisdom. Therefore, as in everything else, we should be moderate in our meditation. With most people, however, the danger is in their neglecting meditation; indeed, I expect many will say that they have no time at all for meditation. They are in a whirl of activities from early morning till late at night, so that there is no time for anything apart from work and duty. When this is the case, I would suggest that no meditation be attempted. Such active people can however practice the presence of God, bringing God into every duty and activity. They can learn to see God everywhere, in every happening, in every thing, and in every individual. And later their circumstances will alter so that they will have time for meditation and many other things which are denied them now. Our circumstances alter as our spiritual unfoldment proceeds. We have all of us noticed that just when we have been ready for it, the right book or the right person has come to us. In the same way, when we are ready for meditation opportunity to engage in it comes to us. After Meditation comes Contemplation. From our earliest years most of us I expect have been familiar with the hymn, one verse of which is as follows: Eternal Light, Eternal Light, How pure the soul must be, When placed within Thy searching sight, It shrinks not, but with calm delight, May live and look on Thee. No doubt the hymn-writer had a theological idea in his mind when he wrote these lines, and was referring to what may happen to the soul after the physical body has been sloughed off. But it is capable of becoming true in the experience of every aspiring soul here in this life. How then can we contemplate the Divine? Shall we form some sort of mental image of Divine Perfection and contemplate that? I believe some people do this and I have nothing to say against it, and it may be a help to some for a time. In its favour is the fact that we tend to grow into the likeness of that which we contemplate. The form which we contemplate however is not God, but simply the image of what we shall become. We cannot form an image of God for He is form-less; we can only form an image of our true selves, or what we are capable of becoming. I have frequently spoken and written about forming a mental concept of Divine perfection and contemplating it. This is good, of course, as far as it goes; but it is far from being the highest form of contemplation. True contemplation is formless. But we must not condemn lesser methods, for everything is all right at the time, at the stage at which we then are. Just because as we advance we have to discard methods which hitherto have served us well, it does not follow that they are bad methods. When we discard them as being not only useless now, but actually a hindrance, we should not look upon them with contempt but rather with gratitude, for without their aid we could never have reached our present stage. When we are ready to move forward, we experience a desire to do so. We should always wait for the appropriate moment (we should never, for instance, attempt anything that is beyond us, just because we have read about it in a book), otherwise it would be like trying to hasten the opening of a flower bud by pulling it apart with our fingers. It may seem strange that we should now have to cast away all that they have learned and become as a little child. Yet that is what Jesus said, but very few have ever understood what He said. He said that we cannot enter into the Kingdom of God, except we become as little children. At this point, when we are ready to go forward, we simply move forward, but we cannot take our knowledge with us, we have to exfoliate all our intellectual ideas and what we think God is. Our loftiest thoughts about God are only hindrances now; they have served us well hitherto, but now they have to be cast aside because any thought about God is limiting, not only to us but also to God. In one sense, of course, it is impossible to limit God in any way for He is limitless, but we can limit Him, as far as we are concerned, by our thought. God is infinitely beyond thought, therefore our thoughts about God limit Him to our thought. It is the same with a name. God is the One without a name - the nameless One, consequently if we attach a name to God, He eludes us for He is above all names. The God who can be named is not the Ineffable One, but as it were a God of our own limitations. As we move forward towards the Ineffable, we lay aside all names and forms; we also emerge beyond all thoughts and ideas about God. Consequently, because we cease trying to limit the Limitless, it begins to become possible for us to go forward. All forms, thoughts, names and ideas have to be laid aside by us. So as they arise, we gently brush them aside and continue steadily forward to That which transcends all forms, thoughts, names and ideas. And so we move forward to the Nameless, Ineffable One. We discard everything until at last we come to Nothing … And when we have come to Nothing - we find that we have found Everything. 18 CAUGHT UP IN THE SPIRIT Before allowing me to say anything about this subject, philosophers would doubtless insist that I should first define my terms. What do I mean by being 'caught up' and by 'Spirit' ? As a matter of fact I can define neither, so I shall not attempt to do so; but as I proceed the terms used will, I hope, explain themselves. But in any case, it is impossible to define Spirit, for 'God is Spirit: and they, that worship Him must worship Him in Spirit and in Truth', and one cannot describe That which cannot be defined. It all began in quite a small way when I was in my mid-twenties. I think that at that time I thought that I had in me the making of a preacher; indeed I may have cherished hopes and ambitions of becoming a great preacher, capable of attracting and swaying enormous crowds of people. Consequently when there was a call for local preachers, I was one of those who volunteered for the honour and without examination or test, was accepted. As viewed from the pew, the office of preacher seemed simple and I often wondered why so many preachers did not do better than they did. But when I came to try to preach I found it quite a different story. As a rule I found it extremely difficult to say anything, and if I did manage to do so it was mediocre in the extreme - depressing both to my hearers and myself. As a rule the people endured me. They were obviously bored and wearied by my performance; I got nothing from them, while of course they got nothing from me. I was no more in touch with them than I should have been if they had been a hundred miles away. No matter how carefully I might prepare my sermon, the result would be that when I got up to preach I seemed to be completely alone, in a kind of mental and spiritual wilderness, bereft of ideas and unable to say anything that I had hoped to say except a few hesitating, halting words that were helpful to nobody. These attempts at preaching were very hard work and a great mental strain. The end of my sermon would find me exhausted and miserable, oppressed with a sense of failure and frustration. That was the general rule; but there were exceptions, rare ones it is true, but all the more precious because of their extreme rarity. On such exceptional occasions, I enjoyed what preachers in those days used to term liberty - an excellent description, for at such times I was set free from all restrictions. Instead of being shut up in myself, cut off from God and man, bereft of ideas, and in a state of misery and loneliness, I found myself lifted out into a state of liberty. My hearers were in sympathy and responded to everything I said and ideas flowed into my mind, like water from a perpetual fountain. And these ideas found immediate expression in words of simplicity and clarity, without any strain or effort on my part. The congregation gave me their attention, and there were less fidgeting and coughing than usual. For myself, I was filled with joy and in a state of uplift. All fear was lost and I felt that I was in my right place, with everybody else in his right place also. After it was over, instead of being exhausted, I was stronger and fresher than when I commenced. There was something else which I noticed: whereas in the ordinary way my throat was rather troublesome and I had to relieve it with occasional sips of water, yet when the Spirit took hold of me my throat gave no trouble at all in spite of the fact that I had been speaking without a break for quite a considerable time. But alas, this happened but rarely. Some who heard me on one of these very infrequent occasions said that I ought to pursue preaching as a calling; but I had changed my mind about this for I had come to the conclusion that I was not intended to be a preacher. If the Spirit had come to me oftener, it would have been a sign that preaching was to be my vocation. But the fact that It came so very seldom, and that for the most part I was left uninspired and flat and lifeless made me decide that preaching was not to be my forte. I was sure that the only preaching that was really worthwhile was that which was the work of the Holy Spirit alone, so that He spoke through the preacher: then and then only could God's message get through. I have already related the story of an experience which befell me when I was living in East Anglia. On that occasion, for some wise purpose quite unknown to me, God meant to use me in a special way. Time seemed non-existent; I was in the Eternal Now. There was no attempt at preaching, or exhorting, but all - both congregation and preacher - were caught up together in God, and in very truth the Holy Spirit moved in our midst. Now when the Holy Spirit catches up the speaker at a meeting, He also catches up the audience or congregation. Suddenly a change will come over the meeting, and there is a great stillness and a most impressive silence - the silence of Eternity. Such an experience of the Silence would be painful to one who was neither accustomed nor attuned to it. I remember some years ago being invited by Richard Whitwell to speak at a meeting at Worthing. By the time I got there the meeting was in full swing, and the presence of the Holy Spirit was apparent to me directly I entered the hall. I had purposely refrained from preparing any address or even selecting a text or a subject. If we are to be a channel of the Spirit, then we must put aside all our own thoughts, ideas and opinions. Consequently when I was called upon to speak, I had nothing to say myself, so all I could do was to open my mouth, and trust to the Spirit to fill it. I was led to say a few very simple words about the true objects of such a meeting - that it was not to give an address or even expound the Scriptures, but simply to find the presence of God, and become filled with the Holy Spirit. I went on to say something to the effect that if or when we enter the true Silence then we enter into Eternity and became one with That which changes not. As soon as I uttered the word 'Silence' we were immediately all caught up in the Spirit and given Cosmic insight. All the street noises faded away, and it seemed as though we were suspended 'twixt earth and Heaven, released from the fever and fret of life. We had entered into the Silence about which I had been speaking. I have often read about what happened on the day of pentecost, how that when 'they were all of one accord in one place, there came suddenly a sound from Heaven as of s rushing, mighty wind, and it filled all the house where they were sitting. I have read all available translations of Acts 2: 2, and all make it appear that it was the sound which filled the house, and not the wind. However, I have reason to believe that what happened was that the wind also filled the house and not the sound only, for when the presence of the Holy Spirit is felt very strongly in the midst of a gathering of people, a wind may blow through the meeting, although all the windows and doors may be closed at the time. It is also true that not all the people may be conscious of it, but only those who are ready for such an experience. In the case of the early Church, on the day of Pentecost they were all of one mind in one place. Therefore they were all ready for the experience which came to them and it was possible for the experience to come to all of them. If people of |